On Mardel...from Special K

"You know what I hate about Mardel. All the virgins. Old virgins make me nervous." -- Special K

(Just for the record, this is why the Drummer hates Mardel.)

The Dada Drummer is an Ace of Cakes

That's right. I can TOTALLY decorate cakes. I learned it from TV, the shiny box in my living room that also taught me to build a chopper, design high fashion, decorate rooms, train dogs, sell antiques, style hair, and race around the world. Thank you, TV!

But back to my cake decorating skills. Which are awesome.

My best friend Special K just had a birthday. I don't want to be indiscreet by revealing his age, but I can tell you that his party theme was "42". That's the name of a super fun domino game that old men play in Texas. Old men, plus the Dada Drummer's friends.

In the game 42 (did I mention it's super fun?) each player pulls seven dominoes. So for Special K's birthday, I made seven domino cakes.

The dots are mini-oreos and the lines are squares of hershey bar. I'm SUCH a sugar artist!

And, just for the record, I gave him a REALLY GOOD hand of dominoes! Happy Birthday, Special K!

Watching Gustav Coverage on CNN

FYI the DD is NOT going to call him "AC".

From Special K: "Actually, I just call him '360'. He likes that."

Watching the Olympics with Special K

During the Parade of Nations:

BOB COSTA: "...Micronesia, a nation of 17,000 islands...."

SPECIAL K: How many did he just say?

DADA DRUMMER: He said 17,000 islands.

SPECIAL K: Bullshit!

DADA DRUMMER: That's the most ridiculous thing you've every said.

SPECIAL K: Maybe so, but come on, what are they counting as an island?

And this, gentle readers, is the man who wants to teach geography to school children. God bless America!

"Chatter with Special K"

• Place: An American living room.
  Time: Now
  The TV is on. "Dancing with the Stars" has just gone to commercial.
  
  SPECIAL K: Wow. That was a great pasodoble!
  
  DADA DRUMMER: I guess.
  
  SPECIAL K: Come on. He's good.
  
  DADA DRUMMER: The jackass was wearing a rosary around his neck.
  
  SPECIAL K: It's a prop.
  
  DADA DRUMMER: Well, it's not a necklace.
  
  SPECIAL K: Then why is it shaped like one?
  
  DADA DRUMMER: It's shaped like a circle. Like God.
  
  SPECIAL K: Crap!! I thought God was a triangle.
  
  DADA DRUMMER: God is a triangle inscribed within a circle.
  
  SPECIAL K: That Russian dancer is freaking hot.
  
  [Black out]

Hypochondria Hates a Vaccuum

The Dada Drummer has a best friend named Special K. He is generally awesome. His only flaw (ahem) is a touch of hypochondria.

Recently, Special K agreed to have a colonoscopy for a routine screening. Even though he had no symptoms of illness, the looming reality of the procedure made Special K FREAK OUT. His biggest fear, next to any needles that might be involved, was that they would discover that he is secretly and asymptomatically "riddled with colon cancer." His words.

Well, gentle reader, Special K had his colonoscopy. Endured the needles. And got a 100% clean bill of health. His colon is a happy, disease free place. No problems at all.

Special K's response to this good news?

"Great. I probably have prostate cancer."