On Mardel...from Special K

"You know what I hate about Mardel. All the virgins. Old virgins make me nervous." -- Special K

(Just for the record, this is why the Drummer hates Mardel.)

The Wrong Movie

From time to time the Dada Drummer is forced to correct her fellow Americans when they incorrectly call a movie "good." I know this has come up here at the Memoirs before. Oscar season seems to intensify such episodes. So, once again, here is a partial list of stupid movies you may have made the mistake of liking.

I call the list, simply, "No. You're wrong. That's NOT a good movie."

STEP MOM
PEARL HARBOR
KING KONG (w/Jack Black)
THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG
FORREST GUMP
LITTLE WOMEN (w/Winona Ryder)
SCENT OF A WOMAN
AS GOOD AS IT GETS
THE PATRIOT
BRAVE HEART
HOOK
TITANIC


I provide this as a public service. You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad to help.

Not Good News For Me

Created by Oatmeal

Last name MESS, WHORE, or PORN?

I think I have found the worst name I will see in all of 2010. Is it too early to call it? No!

Ready?

TRANNIE

I am told by my kid (who actually KNOWS THIS PERSON) that it is pronounced TRAIN-EE.

No, sweetie. Sorry. It's TRAN-NEE. You know, as in "hott tranny mess," "big tranny whore," and "scary tranny porn."


Do you think Mama and Pappa settled on the name because they were old fashioned and didn't want to know if baby was a boy or girl....EVER!

Better than Dada

You know what's better than Dada.

Nothing.

People Who Make Me Crazy: Episode 1 of a multi-part series

You know who makes me crazy!? Well, lots of people, frankly. But right near the top of that rather lengthy list is Samantha Harris--the single WORST host on television today. She's the side kick the ineffable--and nonstupid--DANCING WITH THE STARS host Tom Bergeron. Samantha Harris stands next to Tom, wearing fancy dresses, and clumsily throwing to the next bit of the show. That seems really unnecessary and old fashioned, but its not why I can't stand her. What makes me nuts is when she interviews the dancers waiting for their scores. Samantha Harris routinely offers stupid, incomprehensible, and clumsy commentary. How has this woman not lost her job already? I know she's cute (good heaven's she has great arms!) but come on. My boxer dog could improvise better segue's than this gal.

Whenever Special K and I watch DANCING WITH THE STARS--which, who are we kidding, is every time its on--I insist on repeating every awful thing she says. Usually in a voice intended to emphasize her stupidity. This has recently led Special K to ask me to, "Back off."

What is this instinct to protect Samantha Harris from the Drummer's snark? Why is he running to her defense? Is Special K perchance mesmerized by her many wardrobe changes a night? Is it the arms? I am left to wonder.....

Sparrow is a Girl's name!

I don' t know why everyone assumes the Dada Drummer would hate the name Sparrow James Midnight. It's classic. The only problem with Nicole Richie's baby name is that she got the gender confused. While Midnight is way masculine, Sparrow is clearly a girl's name. To help other tryndee namers out there looking to ride this style wave, the Dada Drummer offers this handy guide to Bird Names for the Modern Baby:

GIRLS

Chickadee

Dove

Falcon

Heron

Kestrel

Kiskadee

Rail

Sandpiper

Sparrow

Swan

Warbler

Wren

BOYS

Cormorant

Curlew

Eagle

Finch

Grebe

Gull

Osprey

Owl

Pelican

Peregrine

Plover

Quail

Willet

UNISEX

Albatross

Cardinal

Dodo

Dunlin

Hawk
Tern

Verdin