GUILTY PLEASURES

I would like to report that the Dada Drummer has no guilty pleasures, really I would. Unfotunately, I already outed myself a couple of weeks ago with the posting about that post-Dancing With The Stars conversation with Special K. Sigh.

So there is nothing keeping me now from confessing that I keep one or two guilty pleasure names in my back pocket. These are names that I would never saddle a kid with but nevertheless secretly love.

I will confess a couple of my GP names in the comments section to this post. In return for my candor, I expect you to admit yours as well. I highly recommend that you post anonymously!

Let's keep the mocking down to a minimum people.

Beyond Beyond

This may come as no surprise, but the Dada Drummer loves smart opinionated people. Yes, that includes you there. If you interact with the Drummer in real life and feel a warm sense of being loved in that relationship, then you can rest assured that you have been found non-stupid. Congrats.

I bring this up not to make you feel good (though that is an acceptable by-product) but because I want to talk about the non-stupid baby name book authors Linda Rosenkrantz and Pamela Redmond Satran. I love their many books. I sometimes don't share their opinions--and I get impatient with their tolerance of some tryndeeness!--but I always find them to be interesting. And sassy. The Drummer loves sass.

My favorite of their baby name books is Baby Names Now which has pithy essays on dozens of great (and not so great) names.

But the book that got me hooked was Beyond Jennifer and Jason. Now in newer edition, the book carries the title Beyond Jennifer and Jason, Madison and Montana.

I have gotten a kick over the years at Rosenkrantz and Satran's spin off "Beyond" books which include Beyond Shannon and Sean: An Enlightened Guide to Irish Baby Names, Beyond Sarah and Sam: An Enlightened Guide to Jewish Baby Names, and Beyond Charles and Diana: An Anglophile's Guide to Baby Names (that one's for you Leila!).

So I thought we could have a little fun inventing our own baby name guide book titles in the style of the "Beyond" books. What books do you think ought to be out there? What books do you think some idiots might be consulting for their stupid choices? What books do you fear actually exist! For example:

Beyond Braden and Jaden, Caden and Haden: New Rhymes for the New Age!

Beyond Austin and Dallas: An Enlightened Guide to Naming your Texan

Beyond Ebony and Violet: Color Names Now!

Let's hear yours!

Nectar Cream

The Dada Drummer has a friend named Big Brother. He lives in New Orleans, is married to an amazing Creole goddess, collects books and movie soundtracks, and eats very good food. He made this:

I love my friends.

Meet my friend Leila the Beer-Drinkin' Christian. She's the mother of quadruplets plus one more. A military wife. A hottie. A smartass. And she's a competitive Irish Dancer. She has all the little outfits and goes around winning blue ribbons. She even teaches Irish Dancing.

Now meet my friend Dan the Theatre-Directin' Christian. He's the father of two. An improv comedy performer. A graduate student. A smartass. And he sprained his ankle doing fakey Irish Dancing. In his living room. To amuse his wife's friends. He is now sporting an enourmous blue bruise and two crutches.

So, I'm trying to figure out if they are like two sides of the same coin or if we're looking at a matter vs. anti-matter paradigm here. I mean, if I put Leila and Dan in the same room, do you think it would cause a rupture in the space-time continuum? Would they cancel each other out? Would it liberate us from the Matrix? Any physicists out there should feel free to chime in with relevant theories!

"Chatter with Special K"

• Place: An American living room.
  Time: Now
  The TV is on. "Dancing with the Stars" has just gone to commercial.
  
  SPECIAL K: Wow. That was a great pasodoble!
  
  DADA DRUMMER: I guess.
  
  SPECIAL K: Come on. He's good.
  
  DADA DRUMMER: The jackass was wearing a rosary around his neck.
  
  SPECIAL K: It's a prop.
  
  DADA DRUMMER: Well, it's not a necklace.
  
  SPECIAL K: Then why is it shaped like one?
  
  DADA DRUMMER: It's shaped like a circle. Like God.
  
  SPECIAL K: Crap!! I thought God was a triangle.
  
  DADA DRUMMER: God is a triangle inscribed within a circle.
  
  SPECIAL K: That Russian dancer is freaking hot.
  
  [Black out]