Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Jay and Emm

The Social Security Administration posts lists of the most popular baby names according to registered births in the US. If you look at the top names for baby boys and girls every year for the last 100 years, you will see that there are a paltry seven initial letters TOTAL.

The winning letters are J, E, M, R, L, A, and D.

And I have to tell you that "A" and "D" barely made it on this list! The name Ashley was a first place girls name two of the last 100 years (1991 and 1992) while David was tops only ONCE (1960). That means we in the last 100 years of naming kids in this country, we as a people have overwhelming opted for the same FIVE starting sounds.

You're not really surprised though, are you? Think of all the J and M names you know, for example. The ubiquitous nature of J and M names have come to make them sound naturally friendly and somehow American. Not ust John and Mary, but also Jimmy and Margaret, Josh and Maddie. Current super-popular school age names include the dominant Jared and Madison. While Jaden and Michaela are on trendy preschool rosters around the country.

I even have a super friend with quadruplets who gave the two girls both M names and the two boys both J names (well, until one opted out and went with his other name!!).

My favorite J and M names? Let's see...



What about you?

If you're interested, here's the real list: M (ary and Michael), L (inda), J (essica and Jennifer and James and Jacob and John), A (shley), E (mily), R (obert), D (avid)

Friday, August 22, 2008

Favorite Olympic Name


Have you met my baby, Ecclesiastes?

I get the whole idea of baby names from the Old Testament or Torah. I do. I get Abraham, Ruth, Isaac, Samuel, Moses, and Micah. I can even sort of understand Boaz, Obadiah, and Ketorah. But yesterday I saw someone named Genesis. Sorry. The Drummer can't go there. That's a band name at best. At worst its a herbal shop and goddess book store.

And before you even START trying to come up with more, people, here's a short list of forbidden Old Testament names:



and II Chronicles

Got it? I hope we have closed this matter.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Virtue is a Virtue

The Dada Drummer has what the on-line naming message boards call a “GP”…a guilty pleasure. I love virtue names. Virtue names are popping up all around the Drummer’s world this summer. A new friend has a daughter called Felicity. There was a girl called Comfort on this season of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE. And one of The Boy’s tae kwon do classmates is named Patience (um, it’s a BOY).

More traditional examples of this style of name include: Charity, Chastity, Clemency, Comfort, Faith, Felicity, Grace, Honor, Hope, Joy, Patience, and Prudence. I would be happy to see any of these on a baby…except CHASTITY. Awesome virtue. Cruel name. The rest rock.

But I especially dig hardcore Puritan style virtue names like Abundance, Justice, Innocence, Mercy, Modesty, Purity, Resolve, Silence, Sincerity, Temperance, Truth, Verity, and Wisdom. Don’t get me wrong--I would make fun of someone who actually named a baby one of these names, but DAMN, I love the names anyway!!

Verging on hippy nature names are the totally groovy off-beat virtue name choices such as Blessing, Bliss, Charisma, Courage, Friend, Love, Peace, and Serenity. Pretty? Sure. But the Drummer can’t stomach such sweetness. Ick.

You know, I bet I could invent some amazing new millennium virtue names! Optimistically, I’d pick Green, Reader, and Athletic. Pessimistically (and that’s the Drummer all over) I would say that our 2008 virtue names are probably more like Wealthy and Famous.

I’ll let Elizabeth Taylor have the last word on this posting: “The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.”

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

"Offense to a Reasonable Person"

The Drummer's friend Director Whit sent me a story about New Zealand laws designed to prevent parents from giving baby names that would cause offense to a reasonable person. I am now running for Senate so that I can introduce similar legislation. Of course, I plan to give myself sole power for deciding what is reasonable.

Examples of offensive names that would become illegal under the Dada Drummer Non-Stupid Names Act (nicknamed "Nevaeh's Law") include:


What am I forgetting??

Monday, August 11, 2008


Michelle Duggar is pregnant again. This makes baby #18.

Of course its none of my business, but I have to say I worry about this woman's health. How can this be OK? She's will have been pregnant 162 months by the time #18 is done. This family's dedication to enlarging their family makes me ask, "just because you CAN do something does that mean you SHOULD??" I really hope she is OK during this pregnancy and birth.

Again, it's really none of my business.

But here's what IS my business. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have made some drastic naming mistakes!

To me the most exciting thing about having so many kids would be the opportunity to think of names for them all!! So what did Jim Bob and Michelle do with this awesome opportunity? They decided early on to limit the naming palate to just "J" names. What!?!?!?! The results? Entirely too many "--iah" names for the boys (JOSIAH, JEDIDIAH, and JEREMIAH), both a JOY-ANNA and JOHANNAH (that's not confusing) , and the unfortunate spelling choice JINGER. Sigh. The Discovery channel has now made an online poll to help name baby #18 but there's only so much we can do with the options available.

Do you think the would consider letting me start over and rename the whole group? We could make a reality show out of the experience. Someone call TLC!!

If I were able to name 18 babies in one family, here's my brood:
Charlie, Graham, Theo, Miles, Owen, Henry, Leo, Malcolm, Peter
June, Charlotte, Ruby, Rosemary, Amelia, Zoe, Mary-Grace, Beatrice, Vivian

Now if I had to give my 18 precious darlings names that all start with same first letter--here's the roll call:
Samuel, Simon, Savion, Stewart, Salvatore, Stephen, Sullivan, Silas, Schuyler
Sophia, Seraphina, Shannon, Sadie, Susannah, Selah, , Stella, Silvia, & Sunday Rose (hee hee)

Whew! That was hard. Why did I pick "S"? Can you do better? Let's hear YOUR lists!!!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Watching the Olympics with Special K

During the Parade of Nations:

BOB COSTA: "...Micronesia, a nation of 17,000 islands...."

SPECIAL K: How many did he just say?

DADA DRUMMER: He said 17,000 islands.

SPECIAL K: Bullshit!

DADA DRUMMER: That's the most ridiculous thing you've every said.

SPECIAL K: Maybe so, but come on, what are they counting as an island?

And this, gentle readers, is the man who wants to teach geography to school children. God bless America!

Friday, August 8, 2008

New Notes on Baby Names, Episode 2

Today's Topic: Good Sibling Names

Instead of kvetching about really heinous baby name choices for siblings, I'm going to give examples of good, acceptable, and sometimes downright GENIUS sibling sets. Please note that all of these are taken from real life friends and acquaintances of the Drummer. If you see your sibling names here, you're welcome. If you don't, well, I'm sorry...again.

Drew and Clay (m,m)*

Grace and Clare (f,f)

Simon and Julia (m, f)

Henry and Gracie (m, f)

Elijah and Isaac (m, m)

Carter and Max (m, m)

Hope and Kate (f, f)

* I shouldn't have to indicate gender with this little parenthetical---but sadly I do.

If YOU have an example of good sibling set names from your real world, let's hear them. If you just can't RESIST sharing news of appalling sib set names...well...far be it from me to stop you from posting those as well!!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Vampire Stupid

Stupidest vampire teen fiction baby name in the history of vampire teen fiction: Renesmee.

For more on why I know this, see #4 in posting below: "Stupid Me"

Stupid Me

Bless me reader for I have sinned.

Here, in no particular order, is a short list of the stupidest things I currently do.


2. Forget to recycle

3. Play text twist on Facebook when I have e-mails to return

4. Read the occasional best-selling teen vampire novel

5. Worry about which pants make me butt look less big

6. Gossip

7. Wallow

8. Check out the "Entertainment" stories before the "Politics" stories on cnn.com

9. Eat foods containing high fructose corn syrup

10. Not be light and salt