Better than Dada

You know what's better than Dada.

Nothing.

People Who Make Me Crazy: Episode 1 of a multi-part series

You know who makes me crazy!? Well, lots of people, frankly. But right near the top of that rather lengthy list is Samantha Harris--the single WORST host on television today. She's the side kick the ineffable--and nonstupid--DANCING WITH THE STARS host Tom Bergeron. Samantha Harris stands next to Tom, wearing fancy dresses, and clumsily throwing to the next bit of the show. That seems really unnecessary and old fashioned, but its not why I can't stand her. What makes me nuts is when she interviews the dancers waiting for their scores. Samantha Harris routinely offers stupid, incomprehensible, and clumsy commentary. How has this woman not lost her job already? I know she's cute (good heaven's she has great arms!) but come on. My boxer dog could improvise better segue's than this gal.

Whenever Special K and I watch DANCING WITH THE STARS--which, who are we kidding, is every time its on--I insist on repeating every awful thing she says. Usually in a voice intended to emphasize her stupidity. This has recently led Special K to ask me to, "Back off."

What is this instinct to protect Samantha Harris from the Drummer's snark? Why is he running to her defense? Is Special K perchance mesmerized by her many wardrobe changes a night? Is it the arms? I am left to wonder.....

Sparrow is a Girl's name!

I don' t know why everyone assumes the Dada Drummer would hate the name Sparrow James Midnight. It's classic. The only problem with Nicole Richie's baby name is that she got the gender confused. While Midnight is way masculine, Sparrow is clearly a girl's name. To help other tryndee namers out there looking to ride this style wave, the Dada Drummer offers this handy guide to Bird Names for the Modern Baby:

GIRLS

Chickadee

Dove

Falcon

Heron

Kestrel

Kiskadee

Rail

Sandpiper

Sparrow

Swan

Warbler

Wren

BOYS

Cormorant

Curlew

Eagle

Finch

Grebe

Gull

Osprey

Owl

Pelican

Peregrine

Plover

Quail

Willet

UNISEX

Albatross

Cardinal

Dodo

Dunlin

Hawk
Tern

Verdin

I'm not making this up

THIS JUST IN

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have named their new baby boy
Sparrow James Midnight Madden.

Which is weird because MY new baby is named
Pirate Richard Twilight Drummer.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

11th Stupid Thing

Booger Posters

(who knew this was an international epidemic!)

A Bucket List

No, this is not a list of things I want to do before I kick the bucket. This is a list things that belong in a bucket. Of crap.

I have posted here in the past about the Enemy and the Preoccupations he sends to distract us from Real Life. The Enemy, of course, is STUPIDITY. And the Dada Drummer is a prophet of Anti-Stupidity. Why? 1) My mitochondria are especially stupid-sensitive and I tingle all over when I encounter dumbnesses and 2) I was called by God. Or my Dog. Not sure who was talking.

I have noticed my Dada-senses tingling at a high rate lately so I need to speak out against flagrant Stupidity around me.

10 Really Stupid Things (in no particular order):

Vince's Slap Chop
The "Issue" of Obama's Fake Birth Certificate
The Real Housewives of Atlanta
Quiznos
The "Issue" of Pro-Euthanasia Death Panels killing Grandma
Jon Gosslin
Kate Gosslin
Preachers of "Prosperity Gospel"
Wife Swap
Fried Macaroni and Cheese

Is that clear? Good.

I feel a lot better.

Name Fail

AAAAAAAAAAA!! I just found a truly awful baby name web site. Terrible. Gross. Possibly a little evil. Go ahead: check it out now. I'll wait.

I knew it was going to get ugly when the main categories were "Cool" "Unique" and "Modern." Bad signs!

Then I see that the "featured" names today are Zhenson and Braxtany. I'm not making this up. Thank goodness the author helpfully indicates the intended genders since the names themselves have no interest in giving information about the named individual (except for that his/her parents were bat shit crazy).

Other gems are buried in the site. Here is a samplar plate of naming HORROR...

Ethnee
Harkness
Kadiance
Skyden
Wynter

Bascom
Drachen
Faxon
Navy
Rykken
Zen

I particularly enjoy the names on this site that seem like prescription drug brands:

Anaxana
Clarion
Paxtyn
Rathien
Quade
Trezdon

And please don't leave the site before checking out the goddess-awful list of "Mythical Baby Names." It includes winners such as AVATAR, EXCALIBUR, MEDUSA, and SAGA. I am NOT at all comforted by the fact that these names are, evidently, intended for mythical babies. I mean, their mythical friends will still make fun of them. And their mythical teachers will never know how to pronounce their stupid name. And they will lose out on mythical jobs because they seem to have been named by Ren-Fair crazed drug users.

Bad Dog!

I guess is natural that stupid baby names trickle down to become stupid dog names. My neighbor, who I really like a lot, has a new puppy. Unfortunately, she has given the dog a tragically tryndee stupid name

"Cadie"

Come on! This is a pure bred black lab. She has taste. Give her a REAL name. Something with real letters in a reasonable order. This pup deserves more dignity than "Cadie."

You know what, I would actually accept the horrendous baby name "Cadence" as a dog hame. Nouns as dog names is perfectly acceptable. She could then call the dog Cadie in emergency situations.


What are some other awful baby names that are acceptable for dogs?

SNARKYFREUDE

snarkyfreude (snahr-kee-froy-duh). noun. language of origin: German, Dada.

1) atisfaction or pleasure generated by snarky comments by people other than yourself about people other than yourself

2) why I love all day faculty meetings