AAAAAAAAAAA!! I just found a truly awful baby name web site. Terrible. Gross. Possibly a little evil. Go ahead: check it out now. I'll wait.
I knew it was going to get ugly when the main categories were "Cool" "Unique" and "Modern." Bad signs!
Then I see that the "featured" names today are Zhenson and Braxtany. I'm not making this up. Thank goodness the author helpfully indicates the intended genders since the names themselves have no interest in giving information about the named individual (except for that his/her parents were bat shit crazy).
Other gems are buried in the site. Here is a samplar plate of naming HORROR...
Ethnee
Harkness
Kadiance
Skyden
Wynter
Bascom
Drachen
Faxon
Navy
Rykken
Zen
I particularly enjoy the names on this site that seem like prescription drug brands:
Anaxana
Clarion
Paxtyn
Rathien
Quade
Trezdon
And please don't leave the site before checking out the goddess-awful list of "Mythical Baby Names." It includes winners such as AVATAR, EXCALIBUR, MEDUSA, and SAGA. I am NOT at all comforted by the fact that these names are, evidently, intended for mythical babies. I mean, their mythical friends will still make fun of them. And their mythical teachers will never know how to pronounce their stupid name. And they will lose out on mythical jobs because they seem to have been named by Ren-Fair crazed drug users.
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St. Rose of Lima is a Christian martyr. And so is the Dada Drummer.
Sit down. Shut up. And listen. This is for your own good.
My welcome. Sort of.
I have a lot of ideas. And I'm not saying they are absolutely right, but I am pretty sure they're close.
But it is difficult to find a means of expression which is neither overtly belligerent nor explicitly cruel.
And that matters. Because, the other thing you need to know about me is that I am sweet. Damn sweet. So don't get your feelings hurt.
Just sit down. Shut up. And listen. This is for your own good.
But it is difficult to find a means of expression which is neither overtly belligerent nor explicitly cruel.
And that matters. Because, the other thing you need to know about me is that I am sweet. Damn sweet. So don't get your feelings hurt.
Just sit down. Shut up. And listen. This is for your own good.
2011 EDITION ** An Alaphabet of Dada Drummer Approved Names
August, Archie
Beatrice, Benedict
Cora, Clement
Delia, Duncan
Eloise, Eliot
Felicity, Frank
Gracie, George
Hazel, Henry
Iris, Ivan
Jane, Jasper
Kendra, Kemper
Lilly, Leo
Maisie,Magnus
Nora, Ned
Opal, Owen
Penelope, Peter
Quinn, Quinn
Rosabel, Rowan
Susannah, Saul
Thalia, Thelo
U, Ulysses
Vivienne, Victor
Willa, Walt
Xara, Xavier
Yasmin, Yoel
Zemmenah, Zeb
Beatrice, Benedict
Cora, Clement
Delia, Duncan
Eloise, Eliot
Felicity, Frank
Gracie, George
Hazel, Henry
Iris, Ivan
Jane, Jasper
Kendra, Kemper
Lilly, Leo
Maisie,Magnus
Nora, Ned
Opal, Owen
Penelope, Peter
Quinn, Quinn
Rosabel, Rowan
Susannah, Saul
Thalia, Thelo
U, Ulysses
Vivienne, Victor
Willa, Walt
Xara, Xavier
Yasmin, Yoel
Zemmenah, Zeb
- The Dada Drummer
- I love Jesus. Jesus loves you. That means I should really find a way to love you all the time, without question. But, frankly, you keep doing stupid stuff. Hopefully this blog will help.
The Dada Drummer Can Count
Read These. They aren't stupid.
Annoyed?
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Stupid Baby names
- Blakely
- Bree
- Braden
- Brooklyn
- Cadence
- Chandler
- Hayden
- Indiana
- Jaden
- Mackenzie
- Madison
- Paris
- Storm
- Trinity
NEXT GREAT BABY NAME BOOKS
- Beyond Basil and Sage: A Foodie's Guide to Edible Offspring
- Beyond Dora and Diego: Names for Overly Perky Bilingual Cartoon Friends
- Beyond Happiness and Fatness: Popular names in African Culture
- Beyond Mason, Grant, and Veronica: Soap Opera names for All My Children
- Jenseits Wassily, Franz, August, Albert und Marianne: Die Blaue Reiter Kinder Heute
- Beyond Eetu and Aino: Fine Finnish Firstnames for Firstborns
- Beyond Tina and Tonya: A Bowler's guide to cheaply embroidered names
- Beyond Coco, Theo, Fluffy and Puff: What to Name Your Puffalump Now
- Beyond Britney and Austin, Tiffany and Braeden: A Guide to Names for Rednecks
- Beyond Lance and Rod: A Fruedian guide to boy names for compensating daddies
- Beyond Mabel and Hoss: New Names for the Old West
- Beyond Friedrich, Karl, Maxim and Vlad: Bolshevik Babies Now!
- Beyond Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Stewie; Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John: A Book of Names for Quadruplets
These sugary sweet names make me go into a diabetic coma! But believe it or not they are all REALLY being pitched on baby name websites! Which overly-frilly, girly, precious, dainty moniker is the most nauseating????
All of the following names have been given to innocent babies. Which is the worst? Whose parents should be arrested for cruel and unusual naming?
Christian Martyr
St. Rose of Lima is a Christian martyr. And so is the Dada Drummer.
7 comments:
I totally get the long list of plants and wines under the hippie section. I mean, what decent, boozing hippie wouldn't name their baby after a tree or a good chardonnay?
But Bruin? Crucifer? Bad names, true. But bad hippie names?
I've reviewed the inspiring hippie section and am one thousand percent certain my partner supports naming our twins Azalea & Zinfandel.
And I am one thousand percent certain that I have the name of a very good divorce attorney around here somewhere. Battle? It won't even be a custody skirmish.
(Great to have you back in full swing, Dada Drummer!)
I think that there should be a website where baby names are chosen from word verification options.
Mine right now: Congsce (perhaps a variation on Constance?)
Makes about as much sense!
Golly -- right now that would make me "Cowse" -- a little too bovine even for this Wisconsin native.
"Forccard" is my word verification. I think it's in the same name family as "Harrison" and "Cooper".
Ethnee Myth, myth - Yeth?
Harkness When angels appear to Keanu Reeves, this is what he says.
Kadiance A legal term: "I done been granted a kadiance on my lewd and lascivious."
Skyden The secret weapon of a Bond villian named "Professor Cumulus." "Set the SKY-DEN 3000 to Unpleasant Drizzle."
Wynter This is just jumb as shit.
Bascom A brand name for ascot manufacturers.
Drachen This is a proposed rollar coaster at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay
Faxon Office Carpet Color
Navy This kid will have to be gay. Even if he's not.
Rykken This kid will L.A.R.P. professionally.
Zen This kid will have ADHD.
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