Stupid Me

Bless me reader for I have sinned.

Here, in no particular order, is a short list of the stupidest things I currently do.

1. Watch AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

2. Forget to recycle

3. Play text twist on Facebook when I have e-mails to return

4. Read the occasional best-selling teen vampire novel

5. Worry about which pants make me butt look less big

6. Gossip

7. Wallow

8. Check out the "Entertainment" stories before the "Politics" stories on cnn.com

9. Eat foods containing high fructose corn syrup

10. Not be light and salt

Non-Stupid Heroes Series, Episode 1

It goes without saying that stupid people are the biggest obstacle we face to world peace, clean water, and losing those last 10 pounds. They totally suck.

I will always have lots to say about stupid people (and the names they give their babies) but I would also like to periodically offer you a glimpse at some of the most non-stupid people who have ever lived.

The first person on my list of non-stupid heroes is Fred Rogers. He loved books, music, and make-believe. He was courageously kind and deeply compassionate. Plus he wore a cardigan. Need more reasons to marvel at the wonderfulness of Saint Mr. Rogers? Read This.

**Note: This posting brought to you by the letters D, E, R, another E, and K. **

New Notes on Baby Names, episode 1

Nicole Kidman named the baby Sunday Rose. You know what? I actually like it. Surprised? Me, too.

Come back to the five and dime, Dada Drummer, Dada Drummer!

I've been on a blogging fast for the last seven weeks. It was part of an overall rejection of worldliness that my guru prescribed. She thought selling my possessions, renouncing technology, and eating raw food would all help cure me of my grouchiness and kvetching. I learned a lot. Here are my revelations:

1. Stupidity exists among the enlightened as well as the unenlightened.

2. Lack of protein makes the Dada Drummer more grumpy not less.

3. Without a blog to use for venting, the Dada Drummer picks mercilessly on the shorter monks.

4. Raw carrots give the Dada Drummer the hiccups.

5. Even "Welcoming ashrams for the spiritually seeking" have their limits.

So I left. And no matter what Sister Nirvana says on Larry King, I broke up with the ashram first! I promptly sold the rights to my story to We television (look for the exciting world premiere of LIFE AND TIMES OF A SUBURBAN BUDDHA during fall sweeps! Valerie Bertinelli is playing me!) and used the cash to buy some totally sweet new worldly possessions. Including the rockin' new PC from which I am blogging at this very moment.

In other words, dear drummers. I'm back.

How do you say "stupid name" in French?

I am going to be heading off for a three week drumming adventure in Europe tomorrow. I'll collect any stupid names I find abroad and report back to you all later in June.

Peace!

TV Names: An Afterschool Special

You may notice that the FABULOUS new New York City themed baby name poll to my right is missing four names that were suggested on an earlier blog posting. Those names were the totally awesome Carrie,Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte.

I left them off the poll because 1) the were not nearly ridiculous enough for a poll and 2) I wanted to initiate a conversation with you about TV names.

Some TV shows have given us awful names: Opie, Wally, Beaver, Marcia, Jan, Screech, Chrissy Snow. These are scars we may not recover from as a culture. I worry.

Any writer who names a character over twenty "Madison" or "Brayden" needs to be fired. Immediately.

Happily, some TV shows demonstrate taste and knowledge of appropriate naming trends for the character ages. The four urbane divas on "Sex and the City" are well-named and fashionable without sporting monikers that would NEVER be worn by women of their ages.

A few good shows have walked the fine line of using popular CLASSIC names for adult characters, thus achieving both plausibility and a trendy sound. Best example of this is probably "Will and Grace."

It goes without saying that soap opera names are a root cause of advancing evil in the world. Brick, Nash, Dante, Ridge, Thorn. 'Nuff said.

But I am going to go ahead and declare that the WORST name EVER to come out of a TV show and into reality is Chandler. On a quirky adult male character it had panache. On your baby (male or female) its an atrocity.

Other TV names you love or hate? Let's hear 'em.

New York State of Mind

As you know, I have recently issued yet one more ruling against the stupid baby name Brooklyn (in all its permutations). Well, a reader calling himself "Shallow End of the Gene Pool Guy" is protesting against the edict because he longs for some way to honor his beloved homeland of New York City in baby name form.

Though I am highly suspicious of all place names for babies, the Dada Drummer is nothing if not a gracious dictator. So I send a plea to you: please suggest some New York themed names that our fellow traveler might find useful as non-Brooklyn alternatives.

For example: Lincoln (as in Center!)

P.S. Before you even suggest them, these are totally off the table:
Tribeca
Soho
MOMA