Family

Sadly, being related to the Dada Drummer does not make one immune from bad baby name taste. I must report to you that the newest member of my extended family was born yesterday (yeah!) and given the unapproved name KHLOE (booo).

This is your blog. This is your blog on drugs.

The Drummer Land
September 12
3:00 am CST

For those readers of The Dada Drummer who are friends of DTB, I highly suggest you check this late night newsflash detailing her recent drug problem. It's up to you to decide whether you want to give her a compassionate hug or some merciless teasing when next you see the Wakeful One.

The Drummer plans to never let her live this down...but then again I'm bitchy like that!

The Dada Drummer has a BLOG CRUSH! Is that a BLUSH or a CROG?

Thanks to my style guru the Dolan Goddess, I am up at 1:30 am reading the most amazingly hilarious blog EV-ER. (I also have a head cold, a crappy cough, and took too much medication which may be another reason I'm up. Maybe.)

I have a major blog crush on funny, brilliant, hot BLOGGESS. Go check it out NOW!. But I must advise against eating or drinking while reading (choking hazard!). And I suggest you exercise great caution reading the blog while family members sleep (loud guffaw hazzard!).

TOTAL CREDIT for this discovery and my now much improved coolness goes to the amazing Dolan Goddess. Who is also funny and brilliant. And waayyyyy hot. FYI.

P.S. In reading the Bloggess I have discovered that she is snarky, darkly-comic, intelligent, likes to curse and works at a "faith-based institution." See! That eHarmony compatibility test DOES work!

Burgers are the Opium of the Masses

Man eats 23,000 Big Macs in 36 years

I don't even know where to begin.

I'll just share this. The Dada Drummer--who is immune from such petty mental distractions as conspiracy theory--has long been aware of the Global Plot to keep us fat and stupid so that we won't revolt. There is no other reasonable explanation for the existence of Dairy Queen, Pan Pizza, Coca-cola, and funnel cakes . And it goes without saying that the king daddy of proletariat fat is McD! This article therefore symbolizes not just the capitulation of a lone Wisconsonian (a word?) with OCD, but the serious threat to human freedom in every corner of God's earth.

"I enjoy them every day," said Gorske, 54. "I need two to fill me up."

God help you, my brother. You're a pawn in a system you'll never fully understand.

The ISSUE!

The Dada Drummer is not into partisan politics. "Red State!" "Blue State!" "Conservative!" "Liberal" These are completely meaningless labels. We can't pick our leaders based broad categorizations like that. No! The Dada Drummer votes on the ISSUES.

And there is really only ONE issue that matters. Stupid Baby Names. And, friends, I have an ISSUE with this Gov. Palin!

Track!? Bristol!? Willow!!? Piper!? Trig?! Are you effing kidding me?

If I were to invent a little collection of fictional stupid baby names to make mean-spiritied jokes about--these are the five names I would dream up. In fact, I think I DID dream up some stupid names like this! A few months back I tried--with little success--to circulate some invented stupid names on baby name message boards to see if I could get anyone to buy them as actual potential names. My fake stupid names were featured in a couple of old polls that I pulled out of the archive for you to see (look right!) .

Note the similarities??!!! Let's take a closer look.

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: TRACK

DD's Fictional Stupid Name: TRUCKER

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: BRISTOL
DD's Fictional Stupid Name: BILOXI

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: WILLOW
DD's Fictional Stupid Name: OAHU

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: PIPER
DD's Fictional Stupid Name: TINKER

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: TRIG
DD's Fictional Stupid Name: ALGEBRA

It's shocking, right!! I just can't abide the idea of anyone with taste this crappy being a heart beat away from the presidency! I guess we all know what that means....I'm going to have to run myself. Who wants to be my running mate?

Oh, and by the way, I am not going to pick on the pregnant teenage daughter (she has enough problems with a name like Bristol). I agree with the level heads across the party spectrum who want to let the situation be private and not political. I wish the girl luck.

But so help me if she names that baby Nevaeh, Cadence, or Brooklynn I'm taking off the damn gloves!

New Millenium Virtue Names--RESULTS

Based on the results of our Dada Drummer polls, the next great New Millenium is


FIERCE PHELPS


It works for a boy or a girl. It sounds good with "Jones." It's completely stupid. Perfect! Spread the word. Let's get someone to name a baby this quickly so that I can be in People Magazine.

Watching Gustav Coverage on CNN

FYI the DD is NOT going to call him "AC".

From Special K: "Actually, I just call him '360'. He likes that."