Man eats 23,000 Big Macs in 36 yearsI don't even know where to begin.
I'll just share this. The Dada Drummer--who is immune from such petty mental distractions as conspiracy theory--has long been aware of the Global Plot to keep us fat and stupid so that we won't revolt. There is no other reasonable explanation for the existence of Dairy Queen, Pan Pizza, Coca-cola, and funnel cakes . And it goes without saying that the king daddy of proletariat fat is McD! This article therefore symbolizes not just the capitulation of a lone Wisconsonian (a word?) with OCD, but the serious threat to human freedom in every corner of God's earth.
"I enjoy them every day," said Gorske, 54. "I need two to fill me up."
God help you, my brother. You're a pawn in a system you'll never fully understand.
4 comments:
In complete agreement Dada Drummer, although Mr. Gorske has acknowledged having OCD issues. In addition to eating those Big Macs everyday, he has saved the receipt from each purchase.
Another insidious aspect of the "Keep 'em fat, keep 'em stupid" approach to economics and governance is that it's accompanied by the "you're fat, therefore you're stupid" barrage from other opportunists peddling the latest absurd diet fad to the same credulous public that believes Red Bull is an "energy drink." Not only are we fat and stupid, we're also so preoccupied with our own fatness and stupidity that we aren't thinking about much beyond our bellies.
Capitalism doesn't thrive on consumers' aspirations, as free-market folks like to argue, but on consumers' insecurities. And we just don't seem to know the difference. (Yes, I am aware of the plank in my own eye and plan to get it looked at just as soon as I polish off this pint of Chubby Hubby.)
A bit hyperbolic, perhaps, but it's all a good reason to embrace TiVo: escaping all the ads designed to get you to the fridge followed by those designed to make you feel like crap 'cuz you went there. (What to do about the extra time spent watching TV 'cuz you have TiVo is a topic for another rant.)
Stepping down from my soapbox -- how 'bout a truth-in-advertising naming contest for our personal favorite nutrition-free gastronomic indulgences?
Fried cheese curds, anyone?
(sing)
Killing Me Softly with Fat and Grease
Killing Me Softly with Formaldehyde
Living My Whole Life with Clogged Arteries
Killing Me Softly...with Big Maaaacs
I'll see your 23,000 Big Macs and raise you 2,500 Chik-fil-a nuggets.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm really excited about going to the Renn Faire this weekend---because they have deep-fried Oreos. Is that wrong? OK, so I'm also excited to mock the people that will come dressed as Pirates of the Caribbean and evil elves. I don't dress up, but have the bosom for it.
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