The ISSUE!

The Dada Drummer is not into partisan politics. "Red State!" "Blue State!" "Conservative!" "Liberal" These are completely meaningless labels. We can't pick our leaders based broad categorizations like that. No! The Dada Drummer votes on the ISSUES.

And there is really only ONE issue that matters. Stupid Baby Names. And, friends, I have an ISSUE with this Gov. Palin!

Track!? Bristol!? Willow!!? Piper!? Trig?! Are you effing kidding me?

If I were to invent a little collection of fictional stupid baby names to make mean-spiritied jokes about--these are the five names I would dream up. In fact, I think I DID dream up some stupid names like this! A few months back I tried--with little success--to circulate some invented stupid names on baby name message boards to see if I could get anyone to buy them as actual potential names. My fake stupid names were featured in a couple of old polls that I pulled out of the archive for you to see (look right!) .

Note the similarities??!!! Let's take a closer look.

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: TRACK

DD's Fictional Stupid Name: TRUCKER

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: BRISTOL
DD's Fictional Stupid Name: BILOXI

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: WILLOW
DD's Fictional Stupid Name: OAHU

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: PIPER
DD's Fictional Stupid Name: TINKER

Gov. Palin's Real Stupid Name: TRIG
DD's Fictional Stupid Name: ALGEBRA

It's shocking, right!! I just can't abide the idea of anyone with taste this crappy being a heart beat away from the presidency! I guess we all know what that means....I'm going to have to run myself. Who wants to be my running mate?

Oh, and by the way, I am not going to pick on the pregnant teenage daughter (she has enough problems with a name like Bristol). I agree with the level heads across the party spectrum who want to let the situation be private and not political. I wish the girl luck.

But so help me if she names that baby Nevaeh, Cadence, or Brooklynn I'm taking off the damn gloves!