Tryndee Nayme Wednesday - School's Out Edition!

In honor of the fall school semester wrapping up, let's have an academic themed game!

Baby Girl December 12
Mother is a tenure-track academic at Wanna-B-Ivy-League U. She teaches pop culture studies and has research specialties in Quintin Tarantino films and Manga. Dad is a university adjunct at two community colleges. He teaches 15 sections of freshman composition. He is ABD from the English department at Large Research State U. His nearly completed dissertation is "Reading Mr. Wright: Semiotics and Contemporary American "Chick Lit."This is their first child and they are planning a water birth.

Re: IPLAWNEWBABY

Dear iplawguy,
I have decided to take up your challenging invitation to suggest a name for iplawkid's kid sister (Gentle Readers: iplawguy's firstborn "iplawkid" is also known as Mamie.) Now I could, of course, just churn out a baker's dozen of stupid names for you. Stupid tyrndee names like Jayden, Reighlee, Miley, and Brooklyn. Stupid novelty names like Lyric, Ephiphany, Poet, and Indiana. Stupid frilly flowery sugary names like Magnolia, Scarlette, Fleur, Cosmina, and Velvet. But instead I decided to give you a list of TEN genuine recommendations based on the style of your choice for iplawkid's name...and guided by my own unquestionable taste. So these are names I actually LIKE. And that's really saying something! Ready? Here they are in alphabetical order:

Alice
Amelia
Charlotte
Clara
Evelyn
Gracie
Julia
Louisa
Nora
Rosa

Now just pick one! Or two if you want a middle name! Or THREE if you want a hyphen thrown in there somewhere (Charlotte Alice-Rose???). Either that or just name her Oona Hadley! :)

Oh, Please! Circle is MUCH stupider!

Those of you who have read this blog all season know that I have attempted to launch bogus stupid names such as Panda, Trucker, Kicker, and Circle by mentioning them online. I know they're ridiculous--but I contend they are no worse than real world dumb names like Cadence, Story, Brayeden, and Worth.

That being said, I really, really, really, REALLY hope that the person who made the following post on Baby Name Wizard website is kididing. I need her to be--like me--feigning interest in a fake stupid name in order to make a point about real stupid names. Because if this is a sincere post, then we're all doomed as a culture.

"I love the name Drama for a girl. I don't have any children yet but, my first girl is going to be named Drama or I also like the name Kira."

The Dada Dummer is feeling light-headed.

Trendee Nayme Wednesday! Celebrity Edition!

Baby Girl December 5

It's time for our Celebrity Edition of the game, friends! This week's lucky young maiden is America's Mother of the Year--BRITNEY SPEARS! According to Entertainment Tonight and other reputable media outlets, our favorite Louisiana Trailer Trash is pregnant again. Dad's identity? Some one less famous! Let's help young Ms. Spears with some helpful Baby Name suggestions. She's looking for a classy and unique three part name--something that expresses old fashioned femininity but also has a rock and roll edge. Go!

Bad Advice on the Internet

The internet is just chock full of people with advice and opinions about baby names. In some cases those opinions are coming from refreshing and enlightened minds (see e.g. "The Dada Drummer"). Most of the time, however, these people are just idiots. I call your attention to this gem of a list from a site called "Mom Recommended." Three names on this list are acceptable. Two are marginal. The rest should be burned.

"Creative Spelling and Unique Baby Boy Names"

"Many parents are looking for a creative way to spell their favorite baby name or a unique name for their baby that will help them stand out as an individual. Our list includes both unique names and popular names with a spelling twist."

Anderson
Andon
Andrue
Arland
Ayden
Avian
Bennett
Bergen
Braeden
Bradyn
Brayden
Braxton
Braylen
Braylon
Brenton
Brock
Cabe
Caiden
Cayden
Dereck
Cadine
Caiden
Camrin
Cayden
Colson
Coy
Devlyn
Dustyn
Ellis
Ethyn
Eyzik
Gerrit
Giordano
Jarrett
Jaxx
Jaydin
Jaydon
Jerald
Jerik
Justis
Kaden
Kaiden
Kameren
Karsten
Kefir
Keltyn
Khaner
Kolten
Korbin
Kyler
Martini
Maxemillian
Mazelin
Phenix
Pierson
Raifton
Rian
Ryon
Sanders
Storm
Torin
Trennen
Treyton
Treux
Trystan
Tymbur
Xander
Zacharie
Zackary
Zander"

Your Kid's Name

Let's just be honest here. You put that soccer/softball/baseball/orchestra/dance team sticker on the back of your car for one reason. To show off the groovy name you picked for your kid. It's the same reason you embroidered it on that diaper bag, made a huge wooden sign of it for his/her bedroom, and it's the reason you love to call it out (both first and middle names) in front of other parents. You're proud of your creative writing and want to be sure everyone knows your brilliance. Including that totally unique spelling your found.

Well, good for you.

But by putting your creative writing out there, you're really just asking for someone to offer back some literary criticism. And I'm just the Drummer for that job!

The Prize for the Most Egregious Name Recently Seen on a "kid pride" Sticker on the Back of an SUV:
WORTH

The Prize for the Most Precious/Trendee Name Heard Called Repeatedly in front of Little League Parents:
SUTTON GRACE

The Prize for Most Ridiculous Spelling Seen on on a "kid pride" Sticker on the Back of an SUV:
RYON

Just Plain Annoying Name that I Need To Share:
KELTYN

St. Antic

Ahhhh! St. Antic!! It's good to see your presence in cyberspace! Welcome!

The Dada Drummer's patron saint is Rose of Lima--a martyr like yourself (if you see her, please say hi for me!) but I have lit a candle for you every week since that time you helped me remember a good joke at a dinner party. St. Anthony may be great for finding keys and mittens, but I swear by St. Antic for lost punch lines! Literally. I learned your usefulness in this area from my dear Grandpa. I can still hear him: "St. Antic, St. Antic, please help me honey. The pressure is on and I need to be funny." Anyway, thanks again. You're a peach.

And thanks for your enlightening musings on modern American culture, movies, and books. I didn't even know you read English! I am particularly encouraged, St. Antic, by your reminder of our collective sins of Consumerism and selfishness. Truly this is the most anti-Kingdom force in our country. It's may not be as flashy as sexual sinfulness but its a heck of a lot more insidious. We are well-served to remember that Evil gets to do its most damaging work when we invite it in willingly into our homes. Kind of like vampires. The Evil that we argue with and challenge is EXPOSED and therefore more vulnerable. Debate! Discuss! Wrestle! The Light of God is more powerful than any darkness we find in our adventures. That Light gives us the strength to be brave and engaging. Truth is Truth. Talking about Error won't make us blind.

The really scary stuff is what we let in the back door when we think God isn't around, the behavior and attitudes we are self-deceptive about, the places where we hide our lights in bushels, the times we lie to the world about ourselves and God, the people we ignore out of convenience. You know the words, St. Antic: "I confess to Almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault. In my thoughts and in my deeds, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do."

Oh, and one more thing. Thanks for the heads up on that chicken bone at St. Langdon's. Don't I feel silly now!